A new adventure

Hi, well what a week. Yesterday i decided to part from my coach and go it alone... he was absolutely awesome... i am just lazy and never followed the programs, so whats the point of spending money on a trainer if you're not prepared to help yourself.

For the next couple of months im going to take things in to my own hands and just be a bit more casual and see if this approach works for me, i supposed since im really not trying to be an athlete it won't be too bad, then i just hope i can get my shit together so i can see coach when im down south and reassess the situation.

A good friend of mine basically put it to me bluntly yesterday... she told me that i'd been with coach and had not come any where... which isn't exactly true... becasue when i followed the programs i got great results... nothing ventured nothing gained i say... and it has still been a good experience and i still learned a lot and have mass respect for the man.... and just because ive given that up doesnt mean im 'giving up' im just trying something new as this hasnt worked for me... i think i kinda thought that by paying someone it would make me pull my finger out.... i can be lazy all by myself without paying someone lol, so i'll try another aproach... anything... everything until i get the result i want.

So, i've got over the shock of the Paul McKenna book, now it's just making me go through the mud to get to the real me.. which is where im kind of at... but now i am just starting to take hold of different issues ive had and am trying to deal with them in different ways.

Last night i was laying in bed all upset because truthfully i felt like a real failure and loser... i started to cry when dan pulled me up and said that even though im not where i want to be he's still proud of where i've come from and hes proud of me for making the decision to change things if i could see that they weren't working for me, it was nice of him to say that.. it made me feel a little bit better!

im on top of things now and that's the main thing... even if im moving at a snails pace over time with consistancy i will get where i want to be it's just taking alot longer than usual.......