You know what... im just bloody frustrated! I know all i need to do to get where i want to be and the only thing im consistant with is being inconsistant!
IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!! I need to start making small changes every day and take massive action... but i don't... i wake up...and do the same old stuff..grrr i am seeing Rae and coach in 10 weeks... this week i have done NO weights and only ONE run out of the 4 i am supposed to do... how am i ever going to move ahead like this???
Selina can i please have your e-mail?? I am really keen to do the next 10 weeks together... we can bounce ideas and support off each other! I supposed i just need to make my work outs my highest priority.... before anything else...
i've lost all my staff, im working 60 hr weeks and im still smoking. I've said it a million times when the cigarettes go everything else falls in to place... but then everything about me seems to fall apart. I've managed to figure out one important thing... i have been sitting back trying to figure out what's going on in my subconcious mind to keep me where i am... you know trying to decipher what negative messages i am sending to myself and you know what i cant even sit back and visualise being a non smoker and believing it. I CANT imagine it... i've layed down and tried and tried but i cant make it happen... and ppl i have a wicked imagination!! I can visualise ANYTHING but not this...so what does that say? Maybe im just scared of succeeding?! I don't know, but the one thing i do know is that if i dont start making the changes now i will be rocking up to Perth to see Rae and coach in exactly the same state i was in last time.... and that would just be humiliating!
i need to get out of this rut!
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2 comments:
I've emailed ya ;)
xoxo
Hey mate,
Just catching up on your blog, as I haven't been keeping on top of blog-land lately! I can sympathise with where you are at. Why do we self-sabotage? Why, when we know what we need to do, and how much better we feel when we do it, do we still not put it into place?
I think the important thing is not to beat ourselves up, as I find the more down I feel about not doing what I am supposed to be doing, the harder it is to get motivated, as you feel all depressed! I find I do better when I get pro-active, put goals in writing, find ways to be accountable, and set up routines. But it is definitely hard! It is no mean feat to have come as far as you have come in education and self-discovery! You should congratulate yourself for your progress, and keep moving forward. Feel free to email me if you ever want to off-load.
By the way.. the celebrant thing sounds fun!
And what a great motivation that you get to meet Rae and your coach soon!
Lots of love,
Chon xxx
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